


I'll go real far, I'll hide away

by QZB



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, They're soft sisters and there's more to Aelwyn than what we see I just know it, spoilers for fantasy high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24306430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QZB/pseuds/QZB
Summary: Aelwyn Abernant breaks when she is eighteen years old.(a study of Aelwyn, Adaine, and an orb that Aelwyn can't stop thinking about.)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	I'll go real far, I'll hide away

The first time Aelwyn casts a proper spell it's because Adaine is falling out of a tree.

Not in like, a dramatic way or anything, because she probably wouldn't even get hurt if she hit the ground because she's  _ really _ not that high up. But Aelwyn sees her little sister plummeting to the ground and she panics and casts  _ feather fall _ before she can even process what she’s done.

Adaine lands on the ground gently, looking a little confused. She's six years old, not yet old enough to learn anything more than a cantrip, but she can feel magic so she knows something has happened. 

Adaine's head tilts to the side in an unspoken question and Aelwyn fights the smile that threatens to break across her face. 

"Be more careful next time, Addie."

Adaine, six years old and not yet cold like their parents, smiles widely. "You'll always be there to catch me. I'm not worried!"

(The orb shifts slowly underneath her, lulling her into constant movement, breaking her from her thoughts.)

—

Abjuration is known as a defensive school of magic and it's the first thing Aelwyn is truly good at. 

Her father gives her a tight nod when she declares it and her mother lays a hand on her shoulder.  _ Good, you should be able to protect yourself well. _ They say, as though protecting herself is the first thing on Aelwyn's mind. Her mind is on Adaine, on the fact that as her little sister turns ten, she starts seeing strange visions, and Aelwyn couldn’t give a rat’s ass about her own safety where Adaine is involved.

Abjuration, like all forms of magic, is what you make it.

Aelwyn makes it  _ powerful _ .

She likes this feeling. The power. The only thing that can hurt her is herself.

And she does. In a million little ways that she doesn’t come to understand until much later.

(Maybe the constant movement of the orb is a good thing, maybe if she can't stop moving she can finally stop thinking.)

—

Aelwyn Abernant loves her sister more than anything in the world, but she’s never been good at showing it.

She tries to show that she loves Adaine in ways that, predictably, backfire. She tries to take the attention off of her by doing well, by taking up their parents’ time.

Aelwyn, for all of her intelligence, is not great with social cues. She doesn’t realize that while her parents are paying attention to her, she’s setting a standard for Adaine that can never be reached. By the time she realizes that massive fuck up she’s been making her entire life it’s too late. Adaine’s already anxious and resentful. Aelwyn’s too deep in a cycle of fighting for their parents' praise (and maybe raising a dragon? That part she’s less clear about. There are times where her body seems to be moving without her knowledge. A fine mist overtakes her brain and something fuzzy happens and then she’s fighting Adaine and why is she fighting Adaine?)

Then there’s a modified memory spell. And something special, something secret tucked away.

(The orb moves beneath her feet and Aelwyn is so so tired.)

—

To be honest, where she and Adaine are concerned, it goes to shit in many small pieces. Little moments where Aelwyn could have done more,  _ should _ have done more. But Adaine can't recover a childhood from the broken pieces of promises Aelwyn makes in her room at night. And Aelwyn can't make up for the fact that she's a bad person who did bad things and enjoyed it. 

(Or she thinks she did. It’s so hard to sort out her thoughts as the orb shifts endlessly under her.)

So she falls apart.

Aelwyn didn’t have the spine enough to protect Adaine from their parents. And Aelwyn can't protect Adaine from her own mind, no matter how hard she tries. And Aelwyn can't protect Adaine and Aelwyn can't protect Adaine and Aelwyn can't protect Adaine and—

Aelwyn Abernant breaks when she’s eighteen years old.

But she preserves a part of herself. 

For Adaine. 

For all of Aelwyn’s self-destructive tendencies, she really couldn’t give less of a shit about herself. But Adaine deserved closure, at the very least.

So Aelwyn stashes away a version of her mind. In case Adaine cares enough to come and get her. To provide maybe a small amount of comfort. For Adaine to know that her big sister is still just as much of a bitch as she always was. 

Maybe it's a comfort.

Maybe it's a mistake.

But maybe, somewhere in her heart, Aelwyn wants Adaine to be able to get her back. Wants Adaine to choose to let her have another chance. Because there’s the smallest chance that Adaine wants a big sister.

And Aelwyn so badly wants to  _ be _ a big sister.

Because maybe she couldn’t catch Adaine with feather fall quite as fast anymore (she always has it stocked though, just in case), but she can be a shield, can be a protector.

At least, in theory she can.

In practice, she's crying on the floor of their newly shared bedroom (not in an orb), Adaine leading her through breathing exercises as she comes down from a panic attack. She can't sleep, she can't trance, she's running on fumes and snapping at anyone who gets too close to her. (You're not in an orb anymore Aelwyn snap out of it, your feet are on the ground, your back is against the wall, your sister is right there.)

But Adaine is still here, patiently breathing with her.

Aelwyn hugs Adaine's little frog familiar a little closer as her breathing starts to even out.

"I'm sorry."

It's the first words Aelwyn has spoken in a few days. Deep trauma will do that to you. She gets lost in her own thoughts and forgets that the outside world exists too, and the outside world requires things like  _ please _ and  _ thank yous _ and  _ could I bother you for a glass of water,  _ and  _ I know I'm the sister of your newly adopted daughter but I know you don't like me _ .

"What for?" Adaine's head tilts with the question.

"Fucking up so monumentally."

For a moment Adaine looks so sad and so soft and so much like she did when she was six and it breaks Aelwyn's heart. "'Wyn, I know you don't like to say it, but they hurt you too. Just because it was different than mine doesn't mean it was less real."

"I know but—"

"Our parents were deeply fucked up people who produced two deeply fucked up people. You were just trying to get their approval in whatever way you could. I'll admit raising an evil dragon is intense, but I probably would have done the same thing in your position."

"I… never thought about it like that before."

"I'm very wise." A sly grin overtakes Adaine's face.

Aelwyn raises an eyebrow. "When did you get cocky?"

"Right around the time you told me that I was awesome at divination and you knew I'd become the next elven oracle."

"I should've known not to pay you a compliment. You're awful."

Adaine leans her head on Aelwyn's shoulder. "You love me anyway."

She twists her head to lay a soft kiss on Adaine's forehead. "Always have, always will."

(She is no longer Aelwyn Abernant, girl in an orb, she's just 'Wyn, Adaine's big sister, with feet firmly anchored on the ground.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hi! I'm newish to the d20 fandom and I have a lot of feelings about the Abernant sisters! Follow me on twitter @Whoopsitsgay. Special thanks to Alex for betaing this even though she has no idea who these characters are, you and your commas are greatly apprecaited.


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